My father lives in Southern California and was a community organizer to help get people to vote for Prop 8, which passed and which amends the state constitution to officially define marriage as “between a man and a woman”. Yesterday I received an email from him saying this:
We received an interesting letter in our mailbox today…no stamp, no name, no address. A full page typed letter from an angry person who somehow learned we are Mormon. They went on and on about how we were terrible for having such hate for gays. How the bible taught the golden rule and equal rights, and we shouldn’t judge. Sad.
Below is the full-text of that letter (although Word auto-corrected a few spelling errors and I blanked out the f-word, but here is a scan of the actual letter).
I am writing this letter to you regarding the sign I saw in your yard one day as I drove through your neighborhood during the campaign. I was furious that you would have such hate. I have since discovered that your family is Mormon. So you are VERY religious people. Do you not remember in the bible where it states, “ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL”? In your case YOUR bible and your GOD does not define that for you let me do it for you. That would mean if you are white, black, brown, yellow, purple, man, women, gay, straight, disabled, non-disabled etc. we are ALL EQUAL and be treated the same. Oh and let me just state before you throw this letter away and not finish reading it, I am a straight women married to a wonderful man, but I have no hatred towards anyone of any color, or gay people either. I just wanted to clarify that with you.
I am sure also since you are from the Mormon religion you went door to door in your neighborhood to get the other people that had the signs in their yards to put them up as well, since that is what Mormons do; go door to door. All you were doing was spreading your hate and lies, just like ALL the radio and T.V. ads and commercials because ANYONE with a brain knows darn well that kids are NOT taught about gay marriage in school they are NOT even taught about marriage between a man and a women. Maybe in high school if they take a special class, then marriage would be taught but it would NOT be until high school #1, #2 the kid would have to choose that class, and #3 his/her parent would have to sign a permission slip for the kid to take the class before being able to do so; so over all everything your religious right Mormon freak party in Utah funded was ALL a lie and FRAUD, and guess what it was caught. Lawsuits have been filed and of course I am not going to release the information as to what they filed about because that is NONE of your business, but I guarantee you this it will go all the way through the court system and I bet end up in the supreme court and what did happen in this election the supreme court will overturn and if it doesn’t in the upcoming years our new black president will help pass it because he does NOT have ANY hatred unlike yourself.
Another thing is how would Mormons like it if another organization gathered and arranged something to advertise hateful things against you guys and put up yard signs that basically states that Mormons are hated and you had to look at that every where you drove around throughout your state? I don’t care what you say I know that you would not like that and no one does, so why do it; because you are hateful people. God doesn’t like hateful people. On “D” day for you Mormons you will find out what happens to people that have hate against others against gods beliefs of “ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL”. It also states in the bible, not to do to others that you would NOT want done to yourself. Maybe you should think about this because what you have done evil ALWAYS someway somehow comes back and bites you.
One thing that you and your Mormon counter parts should take into consideration, whether they come out and tell you the truth or not is, is that you have family that is gay, you have friends that are gay, you have co-workers that are gay, you have neighbors that are gay, so on and so on. To make a long story short gay people are everywhere they always have been and they always will be, and it is absolutely none of your business about what they are doing and it is none of your business to butt into their lives just like it is none of their business what others are doing and none of their business to butt into others lives, so really what does it matter to you if gay couples have the same rights as everyone else like they should have, they are gods children too just like all of us, we should ALL have EQUAL rights???? It doesn’t affect you and your life so it shouldn’t matter therefore butt the ____ out.
If this letter is sincere or represents the sincere feelings of anyone I think it’s sad that there are such misunderstandings out there, and I think it’s sad that anyone would perpetuate such misunderstandings about proponents of Prop 8. This letter does not accurately describe my feelings, those of my parents, or those of anyone I know when it comes to our regard for gay people. If anyone thinks this is how gay people are regarded, I would encourage them to find someone who voted in favor of Prop 8 and ask them why they voted for it, and then just listen, without judging, and truly seek to understand their point of view. I think you would find that it wasn’t hate at all that motivated people to vote for Prop 8.
I’ve already written on the hypocritical stance of many in the gay marriage movement, but it bears repeating since this letter is such an excellent example. The author of this letter accuses my father of hate, lying, judging, and butting into other people’s lives. This is all completely false, and yet that is exactly what this person is doing. She is full of hate and anger “I was furious…”, she spreads lies “ANYONE with a brain knows darn well that kids are NOT taught about gay marriage in school…” (it’s already been done in Massachusetts), she insults (just read the whole letter), she judges “…you are hateful people.”, she threatens “On ‘D’ day for you Mormons you will find out what happens to people that have hate against others…”, and she butts into my parents’ lives as my parents have never done (my parents never found out where gay people lived and then gave them anonymous, harassing letters).
I can only speak for myself and my own experience, but I don’t know anyone who hates gay people, and I live in Utah and am surrounded by Mormons. I’ve never heard anyone here ever say anything hateful about gay people–ever. I’ve never hated gay people and I don’t hate them now. I don’t even mildly dislike them. I do think the homosexual act is a sin, but I don’t hate people who do it. I also think heterosexual sex outside of marriage is a sin, but I don’t hate people who do that either. I think it’s wrong, I think it leads to unhappiness, and I think societies acceptance of sex outside of marriage has led to a lot of pain and suffering in this world in the form of broken and disfunctional homes with innocent children bearing the brunt of the consequences. I think government redefining marriage to include gay marriage would be another brick removed from the wall that protects families, and that all of society will suffer as a result. That’s why I was in favor of Prop 8. There’s nothing hateful about it, it’s just a logical, rational, pragmatic decision based on what I believe about how society depends on healthy, traditional families to provide the greatest chance for happiness for the greatest number of people.
This is not a religious matter for me. Even if I were an atheist I would still have the same perspective based on the evidence I’ve seen. I don’t think we should legalize gay marriage any more than I think we should legalize stealing. Just as legalizing stealing would obviously lead to unhappiness and suffering, so to I believe the legalization of gay marriage will lead to increased unhappiness and suffering. I don’t hate thieves, but I don’t believe even thieves would be happy in the long run if theft were legalized. Likewise I don’t think gay people will truly be happy if gay marriage becomes legal.
If gay people feel that everyone hates them then I’m sorry for that. I’m sure there are some hateful people out there. I’m not one of them and I don’t know any that are. I suspect there are very few of these truly hateful people around and that opponents of Prop 8 have tried to make everyone who is for Prop 8 look hateful in order to get votes and promote their agenda. But such a path only divides and does nothing to bring about tolerance and unity.
I have yet to hear anyone on your side address the argument that Prop 8 protects any marriage. Why would a gay marriage threaten any heterosexual relationship of yours? You compare gay marriage to stealing (?!), then go on to predict “[i]ncreased unhappiness and suffering” would result if gay marriage became legal again. And I ask… how? Why? You provide NO rationale for such an analogy, but posit it as “a logical, rational, pragmatic decision”. As a self-proclaimed pragmatist, you should realize gay marriage supporters aren’t ever going to accept legislation like Prop 8, much as the civil rights movement wasn’t going to accept defeat. The “tolerance and unity” of which you speak aren’t going to come about by making state amendments about who can and cannot get married. Tolerance means letting people be and express who they are; Prop 8 is anything but tolerant. It focuses on a specific group of individuals and takes away a previously-granted right. Aiming to quell the rights of others is the definition of intolerance. I challenge you to justify the argument that gay marriage jeopardizes straight marriage (as a heterosexual male, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I’m still going to be attracted to women, and not men, whether gay marriage is legal or not–do you fear straight-to-gay “conversions” en masse or what?). The world will still have families composed of men married to women; this isn’t going to disappear all of a sudden.
And, a final note:
“I do think the homosexual act is a sin, but I don’t hate people who do it. I also think heterosexual sex outside of marriage is a sin, but I don’t hate people who do that either.” Are you telling me you’d vote in favor of a constitutional ban on sex outside of marriage? If you’re one of those “hate the sin, love the sinner” types, I’d like to say that your doublespeak is far more transparent than you might think. Why should your definition of sin become law? Other churches put forth contrary doctrine, so why should we legislate based on religious appeal at all? It’s a non-starter.
For a good write up on how government endorsement of gay marriage would damage traditional marriage, society, and civilization in general (and therefore how legislation like Prop 8 would protect those institutions) read Homosexual “Marriage” and Civilization.
If you don’t understand the comparison between legalizing gay marriage and legalizing stealing then you evidently don’t understand comparisons in general, and I’m not sure how to explain it any more clearly, although I’ll try. Stealing is something everyone but real nut-jobs believes is something bad. Homosexuality is something some people think is bad, and some people think is good or at least harmless. Legalization of theft would lead to consequences which just about everyone would recognize as harmful. Society is more split on the consequences of legalizing gay marriage, but it should help those who were against Prop 8 to understand better the position of those in favor of Prop 8 if they understand that Prop 8 proponents see the consequences of legalization of gay marriage as being negative in the same way as legalizing theft. The only two differences are that; 1) the specific consequences would be different, and 2) the consequences are not so obvious.
I do realize gay marriage supporters may never accept legislation like Prop 8. I also realize terrorists are never going to stop trying to kill me. That doesn’t mean I give up, it means I keep on defending myself.
Tolerance only goes so far and I do not believe in 100% tolerance for everything. Should I tolerate someone coming into my house and murdering my family because that’s how a murderer expresses himself? If you think not, then you have to agree that there are certain things we should not tolerate, and then the question becomes a matter of what we should tolerate and what we should not tolerate.
I don’t think anybody who was in favor of Prop 8 thought that suddenly families would disappear or that people would be converted en masse to homosexuality. To make such a statement shows that you completely misunderstand the motivation of Prop 8 proponents. It’s not about what would happen overnight, or in a year, or in 10 years, but where it might lead 20, 30, or 50 years from now. Just look at the sexual revolution of the 60s. Liberals said we’d be happier if everyone slept around outside of marriage and did whatever felt good. 50 years later we have much, much higher rates of divorce, single-parent families, children having children, unborn children being killed by the millions, etc. I believe the sexual revolution had a more negative impact on families than legalization of gay marriage would, but I think legalization of gay marriage would take us further down that path, and that’s part of why I oppose it.
Regarding your final note, I think we’d all be much better off if we lived in a society where there was no sex outside of marriage. But whether I think that should be enforced by the government or if people should make the choice for themselves is another matter.
I would still be in favor of Prop 8 even if I were an atheist. I’m not against gay marriage because I think it’s wrong in some mysterious and abstract way, but because I think it’s harmful in a very real and factual way.