How does gay marriage hurt me?

This November California voters will decide whether or not they want to amend that state’s constitution to define marriage as being between a man and a woman, effectively ruling out the possibility of legal gay marriage in that state short of the amendment being voted out, which will likely wouldn’t happen for decades, if ever.

There are those against the amendment and those in favor of it, but in the middle is a substantial number of folks who say “Hey, let them live how they want, what’s it got to do with me?” They aren’t necessarily in favor of gay marriage, but they would just as soon avoid the contentious issue and they don’t see how it affects them, so why bother taking a stand against it? Here are a few ways in which it may affect you, which may motivate you to take a stand, or at least vote in favor of the amendment.

1. Where does it end? 50 years ago when someone said “I should be able to marry whomever I want” it was generally a lovesick young girl who wanted to marry a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Today it might be a girl wanting to marry another girl. If it’s deemed legal for this to happen, what about polygamy? Shouldn’t I be able to marry five women if they’re all consenting adults? What about incestuous marriages between father and daughter, or brother and sister? After all, if they’re consenting adults…

But it wouldn’t need to end there. There are already groups pushing for legalization of sexual relationships between grown men and young boys. Advocates of gay marriage may say “No, we just want gay marriage, this isn’t going to go any farther” and perhaps they don’t mean it to go any farther, but there are some who do, and they see legalization of gay marriage as a step towards achieving their goals.

2. Gay marriage conflicts with religious freedom. After gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts it also became illegal for adoption agencies to refuse to place children in homes with gay parents. Rather than fight the system or comply with it, Catholic Charities of Boston decided to completely shut down their organization. They had been around for over 100 years, and had done much good in the community, but legalization of gay marriage forced them to decide between denying their faith or shutting down, and they chose to maintain the tenets of their religion.

As recently described in a release from the LDS Church:

Other advocates of same-sex marriage are suggesting that tax exemptions and benefits be withdrawn from any religious organization that does not embrace same-sex unions. Public accommodation laws are already being used as leverage in an attempt to force religious organizations to allow marriage celebrations or receptions in religious facilities that are otherwise open to the public. Accrediting organizations in some instances are asserting pressure on religious schools and universities to provide married housing for same-sex couples. Student religious organizations are being told by some universities that they may lose their campus recognition and benefits if they exclude same-sex couples from club membership.

3. Gay marriage increases the number of single-parent families and leads to various societal problems. Imagine you want to become a doctor. You study hard in high school and college, working your brains out. You graduate, do your residency, and the day finally comes when you’ll be a full-fledged MD. The first day on the job, you meet another doctor who has the same position as you in a different department of the hospital and he says “Yeah, I didn’t even go to school, I just downloaded this diploma off the Internet and they gave me this job.” How would you feel about your own diploma?

While not a perfect analogy, this is, in effect, how legalization of gay marriage makes straight married people feel. Gay marriage devalues marriage because it is a mockery of marriage. It makes marriage seem meaningless. This erosion of the meaning of marriage already began long ago as divorce became more acceptable in Western society. When couples get married without preparation, without commitment, and then divorce without much thought for the consequences, it hurts more than just their family because it promotes that activity as being normal and acceptable, and makes other couples wonder whether they should get married at all.

As marriage is devalued, then sexual restraint is also marginalized. An increase in sexual activity outside the bonds of marriage leads to greater numbers of children being brought into homes where one parent (generally the father) is missing, which not only feeds the creation of more single-parent families but also leads to a host of other societal problems. Gay marriage undermines real marriage, and whenever marriage and families made up of a committed mother and father are threatened society as a whole pays the price.

4. Legalization of gay marriage will affect what is taught in public schools. If the state legalizes same-sex marriage, then public schools will be required to talk about and reference gay marriage in their curriculum just as they talk about normal marriage. In addition to public schools already teaching that sex outside of marriage is perfectly acceptable, after the legalization of gay marriage sex education courses in the public schools will be required to teach that homosexual activity is just as normal and acceptable as heterosexual activity.

5. The unknown. Would you buy a house, sight unseen? I heard about a guy who bought a house over the Internet once without visiting it. When he went to inspect what he had bought, he opened the front door and immediately vomited. The house had previously been home to a lady who kept hundreds of cats, which had defecated throughout the premises and during the months it was on the market had aged and the smell had become stronger.

The institution of marriage has been accepted for thousands of years, and there is ample evidence to show that strong families with a mother and father lead to strong societies. Legalization of same-sex marriages is a drastic experiment that may have far-reaching consequences for society. Even those who are not religious should be able to see the wisdom in considering carefully and scientifically the effects of such a change to the fabric of society over a period of decades. To blindly dive in may lead to unknown and dire consequences. Is that a risk you’re willing to take?